austraLasia #3007
Don't scream yet - it's a hoax!
Canberra: 2 February 2012 -- Would you believe it if I told you that the ELCC (the English Language Central Commission) has declared that within a few months the letter 'z' will disappear from the English alphabet and simply be replaced with 'x' when a word begins with 'z', or 's' in every other case where it is found? This is ostensibly to resolve the problem of British versus American spelling... you will note that this author, for instance, always writes 'visualise', not 'visualize'. Of course it also means that 'zoo' becomes 'xoo'... yada, yada, yada!
Of course you wouldn't! What a relief that must be for the residents of New Xealand! And thank God there is no ELCC - we leave that sort of thing to the French.
So why, people, are you sending me a copy of an email purportedly published yesterday, Wednesday 1st February 2012 suggesting that a declared atheist, born in Wales, and leading perhaps the most left-wing controlled Government in Australian history, has suddenly forked far right of Genghis Khan? A few choice tidbits from the so-called 'article':
Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia.
We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language.
Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented.
If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.
There is no doubting that Australia has had its multicultural ups and downs and that some immigrants have not felt welcome. It may also be true that some have brought that on themselves, but it is completely untrue that anything of the kind was said by Julia Gillard yesterday, or by Kevin Rudd before her, or by John Howard before him - and the same letter turned up for each Prime Minister.
This raises a question of greater importance for all of us, since email forms an important part of the work of many people today, even given the shift to Facebook, Twitter and 'chat'. In fact, it behoves anybody who propagates email to (1) check facts (2) check sentiments being expressed (3) recognise tell-tale signs of hoax letters - things like 'send this to everyone you know' or variants thereof, use of capitals (roundly rejected by people who know what 'flaming' and 'shouting' are about), credibility by association - though there are some real doubts on this score this time round!
And if you happen to agree with each and all of the sentiments expressed above, that's fine, but it is worth being very careful about sharing those ideas by email. The same might be said for any so-called virus threat - never, and I repeat, never, send one of these: they often contain the virus!
Yesterday, a young Salesian just about to begin his theology studies (and possibly in a country where some of his race have run into difficulties from attitudes of the kind expressed above) sent me a lengthy presentation on email behaviour. It occurred to me then that its contents are deserving of wider readership, though possibly adapted somewhat to our own situation. Email might be 'old hat' for people who have developed the skills to use 140 characters in tweets - but it still accounts for a very substantial part of daily 'conversation' in the digital continent. Maybe there are some skills we all still need to learn, and if we are going to move on to 140 characters as the way to do it....well, Aussie football fans might enjoy this one: #Google Australia announced it had partnered with the Australian Rules Football League to develop the gBall. At least it's funny, when you read the subsequent tweets: "the gBall contains inbuilt GPS and motion sensor systems to monitor the location, force and torque of each kick. The data is interpreted by a new curvilenear parabolic approximation algorithm developed in Google's Sydney office, known as DENNIS ("Dimensional, Elastic, Non-Linear, Network-Neutral, Inertial Sequencing"), which plots the ball's trajectory, accuracy and distance". And there, by the way, you have another 'hoax' indicator - tecchie lingo!
We can have a laugh about other people different from us - so long as it's a laugh. I hope I can get away with leaving you with the following:
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them:
"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly.
"Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons."
"You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent.
"Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."
The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!"
"Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come.
He'sa busy with a 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.
Don't scream yet - it's a hoax!
Of course you wouldn't! What a relief that must be for the residents of New Xealand! And thank God there is no ELCC - we leave that sort of thing to the French.
So why, people, are you sending me a copy of an email purportedly published yesterday, Wednesday 1st February 2012 suggesting that a declared atheist, born in Wales, and leading perhaps the most left-wing controlled Government in Australian history, has suddenly forked far right of Genghis Khan? A few choice tidbits from the so-called 'article':
Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia.
We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language.
Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented.
If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.
There is no doubting that Australia has had its multicultural ups and downs and that some immigrants have not felt welcome. It may also be true that some have brought that on themselves, but it is completely untrue that anything of the kind was said by Julia Gillard yesterday, or by Kevin Rudd before her, or by John Howard before him - and the same letter turned up for each Prime Minister.
This raises a question of greater importance for all of us, since email forms an important part of the work of many people today, even given the shift to Facebook, Twitter and 'chat'. In fact, it behoves anybody who propagates email to (1) check facts (2) check sentiments being expressed (3) recognise tell-tale signs of hoax letters - things like 'send this to everyone you know' or variants thereof, use of capitals (roundly rejected by people who know what 'flaming' and 'shouting' are about), credibility by association - though there are some real doubts on this score this time round!
And if you happen to agree with each and all of the sentiments expressed above, that's fine, but it is worth being very careful about sharing those ideas by email. The same might be said for any so-called virus threat - never, and I repeat, never, send one of these: they often contain the virus!
Yesterday, a young Salesian just about to begin his theology studies (and possibly in a country where some of his race have run into difficulties from attitudes of the kind expressed above) sent me a lengthy presentation on email behaviour. It occurred to me then that its contents are deserving of wider readership, though possibly adapted somewhat to our own situation. Email might be 'old hat' for people who have developed the skills to use 140 characters in tweets - but it still accounts for a very substantial part of daily 'conversation' in the digital continent. Maybe there are some skills we all still need to learn, and if we are going to move on to 140 characters as the way to do it....well, Aussie football fans might enjoy this one: #Google Australia announced it had partnered with the Australian Rules Football League to develop the gBall. At least it's funny, when you read the subsequent tweets: "the gBall contains inbuilt GPS and motion sensor systems to monitor the location, force and torque of each kick. The data is interpreted by a new curvilenear parabolic approximation algorithm developed in Google's Sydney office, known as DENNIS ("Dimensional, Elastic, Non-Linear, Network-Neutral, Inertial Sequencing"), which plots the ball's trajectory, accuracy and distance". And there, by the way, you have another 'hoax' indicator - tecchie lingo!
We can have a laugh about other people different from us - so long as it's a laugh. I hope I can get away with leaving you with the following:
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them:
"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly.
"Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons."
"You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent.
"Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."
The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!"
"Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come.
He'sa busy with a 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.
