FULL MARKS FOR EFFORT!  WE ARE ALL ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES

The following are true events – they happened to me!

Once when being asked to lead the singing in the chapel at the Pisana, I announced: “Stasera noi dividiamo la psalma…..”

On another occasion, after becoming uncertain about the correct title of “Il dolce volto di Gesù” I announced that we would sing “La dolce vita di Gesù”

And now for other errors of this kind….found during travels

Hotel notice somewhere: To call the room service, please open door and call Room Service.

"English well talking. Here speeching American." 
-On a shop window

We take your bags and send them in all directions."
-In an airline ticket office

In cheap Italian hotel:
If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter (sign over a bed side bell to be rung for service).
It is kindly requested from our guests that they avoid dirting and doing rumours in the rooms. 
Hot and cold water running up and down the stairs. 
Please pay the house waiter the price of your consummation. 
Guests are advised that all fruits served have been washed in water passed by the management.

Notice Posted on every floor of a hotel, Florence, Italy; Fire! It is what we can doing we hope. No fear. Not ourselves. Say quietly to all people coming up down everywhere a prayer. Always is a clerk. He is assured of safety by expert men who are in the bar for telephone for the fighters of the fire come out.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

jbf